


Paintbrush

by Shadowgirlx



Category: Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Parabatai, The Dark Artifices - Freeform, jemma - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-06-10 18:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6968788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowgirlx/pseuds/Shadowgirlx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Julian loves Emma.<br/>Emma loves Julian.</p><p>When true love can't always conquer all, they must fight for their emotional freedom.</p><p>The Law is hard, but it is the Law</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment suggestions and feedback. Also leave kudos!

Gold. That's all he saw. That and the face of an angel. Emma Carstairs.

Hair fell down to her shoulders in long beachy waves, precious and shiny in the sunlight. So many shades of gold and platinum illuminated her face as she shrieked with joy at the crystal blue sea that splashed all around her. Warm brown irises with flecks of blue and green gazed towards the horizon as she took in the view of the sunset in front of them. She always told him how much she loved sunsets and how she envied their stunning beauty. Julian wished he could show just how magnificent she was but he couldn't. He couldn't tell her how the thought of her made him beam with joy, how he could listen to her talking and giggling for hours on end without getting bored and that all he ever did or ever wanted to paint was her. She was a work of art. A warrior who was still so delicate. Trying to cover up her grief and loss by beating herself up training until she resulted bloody and bruised with rough, callused hands. But loving her meant his heart broke a little more each time as he felt a dull throb from his _parabatai_ rune in a call to prevent self destruction.

 _Parabatai_. The word made him wince. He couldn't love her; The Law is hard, but it is the Law. He shouldn't love her; They were _parabatai_ , sworn to protect each other until their dying breaths. But he did love her.  

* * *

 

Bronze. That's all she saw. That and the face of a god. Julian Blackthorn.

Hair curled at the nape of his neck and lay in thick waves over his forehead and eyelids where speckles of yellow and blue paint marked. His hair wasn't just bronze. It was copper, russet, chestnut, hazel, chocolate and they shone together under the bright sun as he worked his brush effortlessly over the canvas. Aquamarine Blackthorn eyes glinted like diamonds whilst marvelling his work, unaware they were a marvel of their own. He always told her how he hated his scars and how he tried to cover them but always failed. Emma wished she could prove how beautiful his scars were but she couldn't. She couldn't tell him how she loved to trace them with her fingertips as they sought comfort in each other on stormy nights, how she loved the sound of his laugh as it echoed in her mind and heart and how he would subconsciously protect her even tough she was the stronger fighter. He was special. An artist who had such a strong will. Trying to hide a secret she couldn't see by disappearing for hours on end in his studio, trying to paint away his thoughts. But loving him meant her heart shattered a bit more each time as she felt a sharp pain from her _parabatai_ rune in a call during distress.

 _Parabatai_. She hates that word. She couldn't love him; The Law is hard but it is the Law. She shouldn't love him; They were _parabatai_ , forbidden to love each other. But she did love him.

 

 

**_"What should I do?"_ **

They were both afraid to find the answer.


	2. Chapter 2

"Emma? Are you in there?"

Emma was brought back to reality by a loud voice in her ears. Her eyes came back in to focus to see Cristina a few centimetres from her face, frowning. 

"Your waffles are cold." Cristina told her with questioning eyes.

"So?" Emma replied, her voice more hostile than she intended.

"Something's off. You **always**  eat your waffles... And mine too!!" Cristina argued.

Emma couldn't let Cristina know what was on her mind. Or tell her about things she was feeling. She knew Cristina could keep a secret but this secret would disgust her. Or anger her or even cause her to tell Julian. Or the Clave... Not the Clave! Julian would lose his Marks. And she would too. What a damned fate that would be. But reality hit her even harder. She, however hard she tried or wanted it,  could never have Julian. What a bittersweet tragedy.....

"BACK OFF!" Emma screeched as she snapped out of her thoughts, anger overtaking her.

She stormed towards the door, planning to go to the beach to clear her head, but not before Cristina lunged towards her and seized her arm. She whipped around to face Cristina, smacked her with full forced and spun her heels to race out. 

As she left she didn't see Cristina's pale face stricken with horror and Diego by her side holding a bag of frozen peas to her face. 

 

_Drawing in the sand always helped her think. She used to do it with her father. Sometimes she would use stones to make patterns and pictures of whatever she was feeling. This was one of those days._

_She hunted the shore until she found a stick to draw with and a handful of smooth pebbles. She found a spot near the rock pools and went to work. She had no idea what she was drawing but the lines kept effortlessly flowing out like she knew no boundaries. Wait... Not drawing. Writing._

_She looked up at the sky that was now of a orangey-pink hue. She had been there for hours and she didn't even know. As she picked herself off the ground she looked at what she wrote. Her heart stopped._

_There, scrawled a thousand times was one name, one man, one love._

**_Julian._ **

_She couldn't breathe. It was like all the air in her lungs had gone. Her mind whirred with a million thoughts and a million words. Love. Life. Parabatai. Julian. Family. Friend. Companion. Partner in crime. Protecter. Healer. Angel. **Mine.**_

_Something inside her snapped and she fell to her knees. She knew Julian wouldn't deserve this. She began to cry, hoping the sea would drown any trace of her and remove it from the world._

* * *

 

"Julian? Are you in there?"

Julian was snapped out of his daze by a sudden voice in his ears. His eyes came to settle on Mark perched on the stool in front of him, with a raised eyebrow.

"Who's the girl." Mark asked, smirking at his brother.

"What?" Julian spluttered, trying to stop himself from choking on shock.

"Oh please. I may be faerie but even **I** know that look. If you and her weren't parabatai I bet it would be Emma." Mark commented.

Julian paled. He couldn't tell Mark about his feelings for her. Or seek advice from his older brother. He knew Mark could be trusted with a secret but this secret would sicken him. Or disgrace him or even cause him to tell Emma. Or the Clave... Not the Clave! Emma would lose her Marks. And he would too. What a horrible fate that would be. But the truth hit him even harder. He, however hard he begged or prayed for it, could never have Emma. What a bittersweet tragedy.....

"SHUT UP!" Julian screamed as he stared straight into his brothers eyes, hatred overtaking him.

He sprinted to the door, planning to go to his studio to clear his head, but not before Mark leapt on him and pinned him down. He struggled furiously against Mark, before he bit him on the arm and and stumbled out.

As he left he didn't see Mark's pale arm scarlet red with blood and marked with a single bite. 

 

_Painting always helped him think. He would disappear for hours on end in his studio. Sometimes he would use oil pastels or chalk to blend many tones together. This was one of those days._

_He rummaged around the studio until he found his apron and an assortment of oil pastels.. He picked out a large blank canvas and went to work. He had no idea what he was creating but the colours kept effortlessly flowing out like he knew no remorse. Wait. So much gold..._

_He to a quick glance at his watch. He had been painting for hours but he hadn't realised it. As he put down his pastels he looked up at his work. His breathing stopped._

_There, portrayed in gold and brown was one name, one girl, one love._

_**Emma**._

_He couldn't speak. It was like all his words disappeared on his lips. His mind whirred with a million thoughts and a million words. Love. Life. Parabatai. Emma. Family. Friend. Companion. Partner in crime. Protecter. Healer. Angel. **Mine**._

_Something inside him crumbled and he fell to the ground. He knew Emma didn't want this. He began to shiver, hoping his sorrow would destroy his soul and remove it from the world._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so overdue! Enjoy!!!


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